The other day I was talking to a friend and he said, “It only gets harder.” The “it” he was referring to was life and my oh so clever response that will forever go down in history as, “Ohhhh crap.” Sure, it wasn’t clever in the least, but it was exactly on queue to what I was feeling. Everyday I juggle high school homework, online college homework, cheerleading, having a boyfriend, keeping up to date with my family, trying to keep a social life, and doing my best to keep my friends happy. And it seems like everyday a new task is thrown at me with a wink and a “Good luck!”. I am getting to be so well practiced in all this juggling of my life that the circus is bound to pick me up any day now and recruit me. Here’s the thing though. I don’t want to be this practiced at juggling. For once I just want to focus on one thing. I want to go to cheerleading practice and think about cheerleading, not the stack of books sitting on my dresser top menacingly. I don’t want to have to leave the sleepover early because I have lots of homework to do the next day. I just want to stop, drop, and rollllllll away everything that I am carrying on my shoulders everyday.
I’m not meaning to make life sound like a burden, but it starts to feel that way right around the time your writing a very overdue blog post at 12:30 am on a Monday night (Sorry Mr. Hyer!). Its only Monday, but already I feel like it’s all just a little too much. And as my future-seeing friend said, “It only gets harder.” If I think now is hard, just wait till I start college. If I think college is hard, the everyday stresses of car payments and house payments and bills is certainly to be even more stress inducing. So I have to ask when does it end? When does the world finally stop spinning at warp speed and turning my life into a blurr? When do I get to sit back, relax and just breathe?
Sometimes (like tonight as I was at play practice for example) I feel like I am just going through the motions and I don’t want to live that way. I am a senior in high school, I should be enjoying every bit of this last year among the people who I have grown up with! I just feel like I can’t sometimes. I can’t be carefree because I have so many other things that I should be doing instead. So what do I do? Do I just stop caring and let all my responsibilities fall to the way side? That doesn’t seem like a good idea. Or do I just keep going through the motions? I am not a fan of that option either. I need some advice. Some legit, possibly tell your children someday, advice. Afterall, it only gets harder.
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