Christmas is exactly 23 days away. That gives me about 2.3 days to make a Christmas list and send it via text email or phone to my family. But this year I feel just too guilty to make that list. Christmas is supposed to be about spending time with family and being thankful for all the great things I have in my life but here I am making a christmas list? I am creating a list of "wants" when I really have everything that I need! I have a family who supports me in everything that I do, I have a boyfriend who makes it his business to make me happy, I have a place to call home with a furnace that I can warm my feet upon and I have an abundance of people in my life who make me happy. I am so happy and so lucky that making a list out of superficial things like a new a fuzzy black coat or a pair of dark skinny jeans seems like a slap in the face to all the things that I have. I mean is that pair of jeans going to make or break me? No, but losing someone close to would rattle me surely. Because people are what matter to me! Not things. I don't need things, I need love!
But now I am just being hypocritical. Because I am really going to open that coat and act like I am not in love? No, because knowing my stepmom's taste, I will be and I mean madly! So what do I do? Do I dedicate my Christmas to help starving kids or saving the planet? Or do I just accept my gifts knowing that people are giving them to me because they love me? Knowing myself, I will probably get past my quilt rather quickly when I stuff my feet into some boots, but until then I am just putting off the making of this list. Who knows, maybe I an come up with a bright idea by stalling. Maybe?
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